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Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Learn How to Be an Interesting Conversationalist by Listening

by Margue Rite

Has this happened to you? You're at a social gathering surrounded by a group of chatty people who seem to have the technique for knowing how to be an interesting conversationalist. They appropriately nod their heads and chuckle while you quietly hang back, knowing you should join in and say something. So, what are you waiting for? Get over your inferiority complex and say something. Go for it now!

You clear your throat, open your mouth prepared to blurt out some quickly-rehearsed, witty words of wisdom, only to be abruptly cut off by a big mouth who has already had more than enough to say.

Well, if you previously didn't have an inferiority complex, you do by now. You can actually feel your heart pounding in your chest, and there is no way you're going to be able to compete with a gifted chatterer that was lucky enough to be born with social interaction skills and instinctively knows how to be an interesting conversationalist. So unlike you!

Estranged from everyone else in the room, you feel detached, almost like you're not even there. Such an inferior feeling of self-worth can be very distressing.

For many people it is hard to relate or make friends simply because you don't have a grip on who you are. You feel ignored and unwelcome and sure that that nobody really wants to listen to anything you have to say. As much as you would like their attention, you don't feel worthy of getting it. So now, you not only have no friends, but an inferiority complex as well.

Get Over Inferiority Complex Issues
For the record, some of those people who are prattling on, laughing and seemingly having a good time may look on the outside like they know how to be a good conversationalist, but just like the blabber mouth that cut you off, unfortunately, some people only babble. A truly good communicator knows how to listen more than they know how to talk.

How to Become a Good Conversationalist
The trick to knowing how to be an interesting conversationalist and to get people to pay attention, is simply to listen first. You need to listen carefully to what others are saying and then respond to them with awareness and intent. When you recognize someone in this way, it goes without saying, they will listen to what you have to say. Tell me more!

Plus, this takes the focus off of you and makes it easier to practice getting over your inferior complex issues. All of a sudden, by feeding someone's ego, you know how to be an interesting conversationalist and you've become a very significant person.

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